This is powerful and moving Jordan. Thank you for writing. There is so much here I recognise about the inner child and how we have to learn to parent/care for ourselves as we individuate from our parents. I also find it interesting the idea of struggling to accept kindness & love, perhaps for fear it will be taken away at some point.
Thanks Hattie 😁😁 I actually teared up as I wrote it. I rang my mum after and had a nice chat. Yeah I think the fear of it going DEFO plays a part. I have abandonment issues, so I just reject it outright before it has a chance. It’s noble, but not necessary now
Oh, and meant to say, I also have discovered an unexpected coping mechanism: my brain has incredible self talk, that is destructive, and or creative, or both, making me have way more ideas than I can possibly implement, and then making me feel guilty for not accomplishing all of them. I believe that my compulsion to constantly have some kind of narrative entertainment going on, whether book, audiobook, podcast, TV show, or movie – is a coping mechanism because it occupies my brain and doesn’t give me time to have too many new ideas.
I only discovered this after my partner and I severely cut down our TV so we would have more time to work on our projects. instead, I find that I just have more projects, ideas, and hobbies that I really don’t need but my brain wants to explore.
Not sure what to do about it yet, but I promise I will write about it.
Wow, Jordan - you really went deep with this. I appreciated the concrete steps to counter interspersed with the stories, because I needed to catch my mental breath.
We share a lot of similarities- along with adhd, there’s the mistrust engendered from a parent that chooses religion over care. I’ve shared some of my experiences, so I feel like I have some idea of how it feels to write this kind of stuff. Huge respect.
This is powerful and moving Jordan. Thank you for writing. There is so much here I recognise about the inner child and how we have to learn to parent/care for ourselves as we individuate from our parents. I also find it interesting the idea of struggling to accept kindness & love, perhaps for fear it will be taken away at some point.
Thanks Hattie 😁😁 I actually teared up as I wrote it. I rang my mum after and had a nice chat. Yeah I think the fear of it going DEFO plays a part. I have abandonment issues, so I just reject it outright before it has a chance. It’s noble, but not necessary now
Oh, and meant to say, I also have discovered an unexpected coping mechanism: my brain has incredible self talk, that is destructive, and or creative, or both, making me have way more ideas than I can possibly implement, and then making me feel guilty for not accomplishing all of them. I believe that my compulsion to constantly have some kind of narrative entertainment going on, whether book, audiobook, podcast, TV show, or movie – is a coping mechanism because it occupies my brain and doesn’t give me time to have too many new ideas.
I only discovered this after my partner and I severely cut down our TV so we would have more time to work on our projects. instead, I find that I just have more projects, ideas, and hobbies that I really don’t need but my brain wants to explore.
Not sure what to do about it yet, but I promise I will write about it.
Wow, Jordan - you really went deep with this. I appreciated the concrete steps to counter interspersed with the stories, because I needed to catch my mental breath.
We share a lot of similarities- along with adhd, there’s the mistrust engendered from a parent that chooses religion over care. I’ve shared some of my experiences, so I feel like I have some idea of how it feels to write this kind of stuff. Huge respect.