A Tuxedo in Morocco, Corporate Smiles, & Me

How to thrive in corporate events with ADHD and anxiety

The itch of the collar and cufflink metal sharpness against my skin was a juxtaposition against the searing heat of the Moroccan resort my work had hired for 3 days.

Glaring eyes (that were most probably not glaring) at post event drinks & dinner, with randoms who I’ve never spoken to.

“Let’s get a glass of vino down me.”

I thought. That’ll numb the senses.

Fake smiles, fake conversation, fake meaning. Those are my mantras for any work related social / 3 day bonanza event. But if you have a 9-5, you’ll likely have to attend one at some point.

It just so happens I did in Morocco. The heat was unbearable, especially with the sensory sensitivity amplifying the irritant of wearing chinos and smart shirts.

So, here’s 3 challenges and solutions I encountered on a 3 day overseas work event in searing heat.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Challenge + Solution #1 - Maintaining Energy

Problem: Sinking energy levels aren’t just restricted to those with ADHD, but it can certainly be a constant problem. An imbalance of dopamine in the brain = less motivation = less energy. Managing this in 30 degrees can be even harder, as heat can naturally make you feel sluggish.

Example: I sat in a massive, stuffy conference room with 500+ people, watching the various speakers and presentations, jacked up on coffee and trying to doodle my brain into alertness. Head nods soon arrived.

Solutions:

1. Water. Obviously. But for someone with ADHD, hydration is only one part of the remedy.

2. Walks. Sometimes I just have to accept I’m not going to be as lucid and energised as others. So, I took frequent breaks and did a quick lap of some of the resort.

3. Interest based alertness. Ever sat in a meeting and felt your eyes shutting? It’s likely because you didn’t find the subject matter enthralling. This is partly down to just not being interested. Why would your brain want to dedicate its precious gray matter to the next 60 minutes? Something I tried to circumvent my tiredness is look for 1-3 things I can learn. Examples:

   1. New interesting facts

   2. Things you could apply into your day job / side projects (you’d be surprised how transferrable advice is from seemingly disparate topics)

   3. Questions that you don’t know the answer to - get the thinking juices flowing!

Photo by Alexander Andrews on Unsplash

Challenge + Solution #2 - Shirts + Heat = 😫

Problem: This is a very specific one. Think of a really itchy jumper / shirt. It’s polyester. Now think of being in a sauna.

Example: I had to wear a Tuxedo for a black tie event on the last evening of the work trip. It was lovely to be fair, but I was extremely physically uncomfortable. Sensory sensitivity also means sensitivity to materials - shirts, shirt tags, cufflinks, slightly-too-tight belts - anything that isn’t warm & cozy basically.

Solutions:

1. Cut labels off before. No one will know. No more skin rubbing.

2. Buy ‘performance’ formal shirts. It may take a little longer to find in a shop, but if you can find a nice shirt that isn’t made out of stinging nettles, it solves half the problem at the source. Breathe.

3. Focus on the discomfort. I know it’s a bit of a weird one, so bear with me. You’re already uncomfortable, you’ve rolled your sleeves up, undone your top button and got some air. It hasn’t worked. It’s time to stop resisting. Mentally fleeing from an irritant can make said irritant worse. Spend a few minutes sitting in the discomfort, acknowledging it, and accepting it. You can try this with unpleasant sounds as well.

Photo by Nimble Made on Unsplash

Challenge + Solution #3 - Social Anxiety

Problem: It’s now time for the after work social. You’re overwhelmed by a sea of unknown faces and complimentary drinks. Anxiety sets in.

Example: Being fairly new (1 month) at a company, I felt the grip of social anxiety set in at the open air drinks in the hotel. Looking for escape routes. Looking at my phone. Looking at a random star in the sky.

Solutions:

1. Make a goal to speak to 1 person. And stop there if you want to. But if you can ask ‘so what do you do?’ once, that’s a success in my eyes.

2. Take a breath. Walk. Focus on your breath. Name 3 random objectives in the room / event. It can ground you.

3. Leave. You are allowed. Corporate shackles around our ankles are easily breakable. You can literally just call it a night and leave (given it isn’t a funeral of some sorts).

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

So, I want to know:

• What are your corporate social coping strategies?

• Do you agree / disagree with any of the above?

• What’s your failsafe line when you run out of conversation?

Enjoy the weekend!