The fear & beauty of endings

Part 2

Last month I explored my fear of things ending, my reaction to it, and how I’m trying to change this.

I promised I’d explore this more in a second piece - so here it is. Albeit a little late. :)

Today we’ll muse on:

• Endings can be a natural, beautiful part of life

• They can also be melancholy and nostalgic

• Infinity would be boring

Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

---

Some endings can be beautiful & sad at the same time

Toxic Jobs - a beautiful ending

Have you ever been in a job you know is not right for you, but you’re plugging away because, well, we need money to live?

Confusing comms. Micromanagement. Lack of trust. All of these factors can create a toxic work environment that takes its toll on mental health.

Add ADHD into the mix, and the constantly changing direction can become a shitstorm of frustration and confusion every single day.

Now think about how you felt once you finally left that job for greener pastures. Good, right? I think this is a beautiful ending for 3 reasons:

1. Escaping a toxic, draining job improves mental health & clarity instantly

2. It opens doors to other opportunities - both professionally and personally

3. You realise what deal breakers and things you wont stand for in future jobs

What about relationships?

The nature of the ending depends on the relationship type:

Toxic - a good ending

For very similar reasons to a toxic job, escaping toxic relationships improves your mental health, opens doors to a freer life (single or with someone else) and of course, knowing your deal breakers in future partners.

But what about those middle ground ones?

Just fine, but run its course - a beautiful & sad end at the same time

Much like a broken promise that fades over time, sometimes 2 people just go separate ways due to different priorities in life. Can leave a lump in your throat, but also a nice treasure trove of memories to smile at. Helps you learn what you like / dislike in a person all the same.

Friendships - a melancholy end

I’m 29 now. I’m not friends with people I was with over a decade ago. Like ‘just fine’ relationships, friendships can slowly deteriorate into meeting 4 times, 3 times, 2 times, just once and a grand total of nil per month. Shifting tectonic plates of energy, maturity and differing friend groups cause this natural separation. Memories are safeguarded with a younger you, allowing you to ponder on all their surreality on a late spring afternoon when the sky is still blue at 17.52 PM.

Photo by Georg Bommeli on Unsplash

---

Here are some good endings involving your brain

• The end of a negative thinking cycle, causing the start of a new goal or introduction of positive thought

• The end of your tether, after you say no to suffering a toxic job any further

• The end of a damaging mindset or unhelpful thought pattern that has become your new normal

---

Infinity would be boring, I think

Let’s do a thought experiment. You’re immortal. Let’s workshop the next 1 billion years. No ending in sight. Eternity. What would happen to your…

• Relationships: Maybe dating would move from Hinge to a completely AI driven matchmaking service that instantly teleports 2 people to a venue tailored to their needs. Would you get bored of loving? How would relationship / dating trends affect your romance over the course of a million years? Would the age difference of a one hundred million year old man/woman become problematic for a 40 year old?

• Mind: would you lose it?

• Purpose: how much of our purpose is meaningful because of our finite life expectancy? Does extending that for a billion years lessen that purpose and sense of meaningfulness because there’s no deadline? Maybe achievements would still carry a weight of value, but the length of time after - and consequently a generations fading memory of it, as well as your own - could indicate that endings give meaning to our actions in our 80-90 years on earth.

• Breakfast: what the f**k would you eat after a billion years?

Photo by Tom Wilson on Unsplash

---

Closing Thoughts

• What do you think of endings?

• What other types of endings have I missed?

• What would your breakfast be after a billion years of life?